Sunday, December 2, 2012


Yesterday Amelia woke at 445 from what she later told me was a bad dream.  She didn't cry or whimper, but she told me that she wanted to turn the lights on and get up.  She wouldn't tell me the dream... actually, she refused.  She said she didn't want to talk about it so the details would not stick in her mind.  So, up at 5am we were.

Off and on all that morning and afternoon, Amelia would mention how she didn't like the lights in the house, the open doors, the curtains not being drawn on the windows, the bedclothes.  She was extremely clingy - literally not letting me out of her sight and most of the time walking a step beside or behind me, holding on to my clothing.  It made it a very difficult day to accomplish much.  She was very, very anxious and fearful in general.  I finally asked her if she would like to talk to Martha, a friend of the family and a retired family therapist who specialized in childhood trauma.  She was obviously relieved and said she would talk to Martha.  We tried calling, but she wasn't there, so we went to bed.

I can not emphasize enough how unusual this behavior was for Amelia, especially in light of how well she has been doing since this move.

Today we were fixing a late breakfast, and she asked me what time it was where Daddy was at.  I told her, and she said he was getting ready to go to bed.  I mentioned that he was probably still at work because he would be working late nights, and she told me again he was going to bed.

5 minutes later, Rafe called.  He told me he was on his way to bed, had gotten about halfway down the hall and decided to turn around and come back.  He mentioned how odd that was for him because he usually doesn't change his course of action to go back and make a phone call; he normally would have just made it the next day.  I asked him when he thought of turning back... it was 5 minutes prior.  We chitchatted about how ironic that was, the day, how the kids were doing, and he talked with everyone.  At the very end, I casually mentioned what happened to Amelia the day before.


"Laurie, what time did you say she woke up?"

After doing a bit of logistics, he is silent again.  Then he hits me with this:

"At that time yesterday I was in the heart of an area known for XX strikes.  The recent group just before us was attacked and our vehicle had bullet holes in the windshield.  The night before I left for that place, I audio recorded a message to you and the kids.  Just in case.  I was there the whole time she was uneasy."

Next time Amelia is that anxious and uneasy, I'm stopping everything and praying for his safety.  And I told her that the lights she saw were Angel lights, telling her they were watching over Daddy.


Allegra said...

Please give Amelia hugs from me and Allen. Thinking of you all during this time while Rafe is away from you.

Allegra, Allen, and Brian

Single Dad / Disabled Daughter said...

Some connections cannot be explained, but never fail to amaze.