Sunday, September 21, 2008

Catching Up

I am trying really hard to catch back up around here. The house is cluttered and it feels empty after having so much fun boy energy around. Amelia misses Noah and is acting out a lot. She's screaming, doesn't want to sleep in her bed, wanders around saying "pway" just like Noah. She talks about Noah's chair, his "happy scream", the beach, Aunt Mandy... It's sad and frustrating.
I want to play with her but I am also so VERY VERY tired of not having things taken care of around here.

I'm tired of living out of suitcases and tired of traveling. I'm tired of not having a routine and I'm tired of not being able to focus. My mind works very much like a butterfly right now - very hard to concentrate on any one thing for very long. I found that I had forgotten to take my medication while in Asheville and while Mandy was here. Hard to believe that something as simple as iron deficiency can totally derail the neurotransmitters in your brain. The Dr. mentioned to me it would be about 3 months before it was about normal again but it's hard to fathom when you feel normal, until you realize you can't keep a thought in your head for more than 10 seconds at a time.

When Mandy was here, I kept losing things. More than normal. It was embarrassing and she was so patient about it - even when I lost the keys on the morning I was supposed to take her to the airport.

So needless to say, the big blue pill box (the kind that has 7 days of the week divided into breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime) is now filled and on the kitchen table where I can see it and take it every day.

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