Monday, January 19, 2009

I miss my husband!!

It's an odd sensation, but the closer it gets to Rafe coming home, the more I miss him. I told him today I see his ghost everywhere now... I'm in the kitchen and I see him in there playing with Amelia; I'm in our room and I see him getting ready for bed at night; in the morning I wake up and for a few moments see him next to me. I "feel" him everywhere in this house - and the reason it's so odd is that he never really has lived here with us, just visited in between training.

I often wonder what it will be like when we live together full time again. We didn't have any children the last time we spent any time in one spot together for any length of time. Now we have Amelia, who will be 3 by the time he comes home. I imagine what our routines will be like and how we'll fit as a family.

This homecoming is like a bit of a trial - a miniscule glimpse of what our lives might be like. On the other hand, if we get pregnant again, as we plan on trying to do one more time, then it will be a moment in time lost forever.

I often wonder if people who don't know anyone in the military REALLY get the sacrifice that the military makes for them. Those guys over there, and over here, spend an enormous amount of time away from their families and there is no way around that. But getting rid of the military is an asinine solution that some extreme liberals are enamoured of; somewhat akin to doing away with the local police in your home town because you think people are inherently good and will do the right thing, regardless of who is watching.

I was throwing up for 4 hours straight and then Amelia started today. From 930am until she stopped at around 430. I'm getting the carpets cleaned tomorrow, because she missed the bucket a few times. Poor thing. I desperately wanted to send Rafe to the store for some 7up or Sprite. A lovely neighbor stopped by with a bag of apples, bananas, and pedialyte for us; rang the doorbell and left it on the front porch. We're lucky to live here.


Mandy said...

I can't imagine how much you must miss Rafe. I really can't. And you are definately right that people in the military don't understand the sacrifice. No one can, if they haven't experienced it. Even as I have a close view of the sacrifice and have a lot of empathy and gratefulness I still don't think I truly get how hard it is. I can't wait till he's home. Not in January, but really HOME. For good. I hope you amd Mia feel better soon.

Barb said...

I'm so sorry to hear you are sick. I wish you were close so we could help!